Always Go Where Your Gut Tells You: Matthew Stafford Returns To JUST PRESS RECORD

You can't always get what you want, as the song goes. And, sometimes you get what you need, as it continues. Somewhere in the core of that chorus is the reason I brought Matthew Stafford back to "Just Press Record" to talk about a clip from Cara Brookins and Rusty Guinn. I didn't expect it would lead to a story about the death of his father. It got real. It got even more powerful than I was expecting (and I was expecting something, just not this!).

The clip centered around an Epsilon Theory chorus of their own, Ben Hunt and Rusty's reminder: "Always go to the funeral." It's both literal advice and a metaphor for showing up when it matters, even when inconvenient. As Rusty expanded in his Just Press Record episode with Cara, "If you're ever wondering whether to go to the eight-minute speech your friend is giving eight hours away, go."

The idea resonated deeply with Stafford. It immediately triggered memories of what his parents taught him: "If someone's having a tough time, you gotta cross the street and talk to them." They told him, and others showed him, proving the point, that while many people rush away from difficult conversations with their heads down and blinders on, true connection happens when we move toward discomfort rather than away from it. No head down. No blinders.

Stafford brought up losing his father, unexpectedly, in 2018. I had no idea. Not that he'd lost his dad, or that he'd take it here. He said, "It was the people who picked up the phone that I am forever grateful for." They weren't the casual well-wishers we've all experienced or, in all honesty, that we've probably been, but those people, who actively reached out during his darkest moments—they crossed the metaphorical street to meet him, when it mattered most.

He hasn't forgotten.

This philosophy extends beyond funerals to any moment of vulnerability, as made clear by Cara in the clip. It extends to business failures, personal setbacks, or simply showing up for a friend's speaking gig. It's about cultivating "a small number of super high-quality relationships" because, as Stafford puts it, "your success requires the aid of others."

His approach through 9others, the monthly, in-person networking organization he's run for over 13 years, embodies this mindset of being "default helpful" without expectation of return. While he acknowledges how this leaves you vulnerable ("someone's gonna take advantage"), Stafford maintains, without regret, it's always worth the risk.

"You should give people the benefit of the doubt and be default helpful," he says. He compares it to parenting too—where you can't control everything, but you can create the conditions for good to emerge. He sees it at every level of relationship building.

Maybe most compelling was Stafford's admission that we can't predict which connections will flourish. Sometimes the expected magic doesn't materialize, while other times, surprising relationships blossom out of nowhere ("whoa"—sorry, was Blossom big in the UK? I'll have to ask him next time). The key is, we have to continue to show up authentically. Even when it means we're making very dated 90s sitcom jokes.

I summarized it as: "Systematically show up for your people with SOUL." It's not about checking boxes, but bringing your full presence to moments that matter. He liked that. I liked it too.

"It's hard," Stafford admitted about crossing the street to someone in pain. "But sometimes you don't have to say anything. It's okay. I just wanted to say hi."

Small gestures with soul compound over time. They're the underlying essence of both our success stories and the foundation of truly meaningful connection. Hear us go back and forth on it, right here on Cultish Creative YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts.