Don’t Fit In, Belong. Don’t Alternate, Integrate

Ok, I make a lot of notes on my phone and somehow this one went in completely unlabeled. I’m pretty sure it’s a Brené Brown-ism, but if not, I’m sorry to whoever said it. Anyway, look at this:

The opposite of true belonging is fitting in.

Stop alternating, start integrating.

We don’t have to force ourselves to fit into someone else’s mold, situation, or corporate hierarchy. We don’t have to alternate personas or social-roulette ourselves into making different circles happy.

The same goes for others. On our teams and in our organizations, we want more Swiss army knifing and less crowbarring.

True belonging means finding our people and going deep. Integrating means complimenting the existing personalities and traits so that 2+2= some number greater than 4.

It’s not easy. Odds are we have to find the others because they won’t find us. That takes work. And honesty. And sometimes, our people won’t seem to exist in the form we want them to, so there have to be compromises.

But this is ok. Because our tribe is out there. And if we can’t exactly find them, we have the opportunity to gather them.

Whatever we’re building, whatever we’re joining, whatever we’re committing our time, energy, and effort to:

Don’t fit in, belong. Don’t alternate, integrate.