Grow Your Network: Nancy Burger Is A Fear-Finding Specialist

For years, I've been connecting with interesting people and documenting insights that might help my clients and myself. What was once private is now (mostly) public.

People often ask: "How do you know all these people?" and "How do you connect these (re: random) ideas?" The answer is simple: consistent relationship cultivation and thoughtful note taking. My north star is trusting my instincts, my maps are the constellations in these reflections.

Find my Personal Archive on CultishCreative.com, watch me build a better Personal Network on the Cultish Creative YouTube channel, and follow me on social media (LinkedIn and X).

This approach has helped tons of clients strengthen their networks and unlock new opportunities. You can:

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I can't promise you'll learn from me, but you'll definitely learn something with me. Let's go. Count it off: 1-2-3-4…

Do you know Nancy Burger? The executive coach with a reputation for helping people find their fears? The keynote speaker on thought transformation who started her music journey at 40 and now helps C-suite executives understand “their aerodynamics,” communication, and culture? The writer who spent 35 years as a freelance journalist before launching her consultancy?

If not, allow me to introduce you. Nancy has transformed her personal struggles into professional superpowers, moving from a Wall Street career in the 1980s to helping leaders identify what's holding them back. I wanted to connect with her because she embodies something I value deeply: the courage to face your fears head-on and the wisdom to help others do the same.

Our conversation is LIVE now on the Cultish Creative YouTube channel. Listen and you'll hear how Nancy's journey through personal challenges became the foundation for her work helping others feel better in their own skin, whether in corporate boardrooms or on stage with a guitar.

In the meantime, I wanted to pull THREE KEY LESSONS from my time with Nancy to share with you (and drop into my Personal Archive).

Read on and you'll find a quote with a lesson and a reflection you can Take to work with you, Bring home with you, and Leave behind with your legacy.

WORK: The Power of Noticing, Not Judging

Key Concept: Our tendency to create narratives about situations and people often leads to judgment rather than observation. Nancy's approach suggests that simply noticing patterns, behaviors, and dynamics without immediately attaching meaning to them creates space for genuine understanding and growth - both personally and professionally.

Personal Archive Note-To-Self: When I started on the path to be an “advisor” I assumed the whole job was about learning everything I could to give direct, tactical, actionable advice. I mean, it was in the name of the job. It was, as Mitch Hedberg used to joke, easy to figure out too, because you just say what the thing does then add the “-er” sound to the end (i.e. refrigerator, toaster, blender, etc.).

The problem is, if you’re always in advice mode, you’re always in judge mode. You’re always in action mode. And, as I observed people around me who I liked and hated how they worked, I realized, my stomach went into a knot when I saw somebody perpetually in that mode. They weren’t doing the part I had spent my entire musical upbringing learning to do first - they weren’t listening. At all!

So how can you give advice and listen? You do what Nancy says. You don’t exclusively try to fit everything into a narrative you already know, you get comfortable with just noticing without judgement, and you see how things develop before you respond or react.

Work question for you: What stories are you telling yourself about your colleagues or work situations that might be clouding your ability to see things clearly?

LIFE: Embracing the Fear of Regret

Key Concept: Sometimes the fear of future regret can be more powerful than the fear of failure or rejection. In the bigger story around this quote, Nancy's talking about using one fear (regret) to overcome another (stage fright), which creates a powerful motivation for growth. Her story shows how we can reframe our relationship with fear as a catalyst rather than a barrier.

Personal Archive Note-To-Self: One thing Hal Hershfield’s work has taught me, which we got deep into on his Just Press Record too, was how powerful imagining your future self can be. When I was getting ready to change paths, right before 40, I briefly became obsessed with thinking about what life would look like at 50. If I knew I’d hate something at 50 (like being at my last employer), how could I continue it at 40?

It applied to all sorts of other areas of my life too. This mental time travel lets you find fear in different places. That fear is fuel, you just have to store it up and get it under your a** sometimes.

Life Question For You: What opportunity are you currently hesitating to pursue that you might deeply regret not trying ten years from now?

LEGACY: You Already Have Everything You Need

Key Concept: The tools, wisdom, and strength we seek externally are often already within us, waiting to be recognized and activated. Nancy's Dorothy metaphor reminds us that our legacy isn't about acquiring new powers but about discovering and deploying what we've carried all along.

Personal Archive Note-To-Self: I had this nagging knee and hip thing that would happen on long walks that I couldn’t figure out. I started looking around online, and this was back in the pandemic times when I was jump starting a bunch of my outdoor activities, and I realized I had the wrong shoes. Sure enough, a little research and some grandpa looking walkers later, the flat, uneventfully paved trail I was enjoying so much but couldn’t figure out why it was causing me pain, was solved. The shoes. The shoes? It’s gotta be the shoes.

Nancy’s Dorothy metaphor works everywhere. Even here. Even when you may not have the shoes for the job, you can rest assured that you do have the feet for it, if you want to figure it out. All the tools are right there, if you want to use them. Human resourcefulness is infinite.

Legacy question for you: What innate strength or wisdom do you already possess that you've been overlooking or undervaluing?

BEFORE YOU GO: Be sure to…

Connect with Nancy on LinkedIn

Visit her website at nancyrburger.com

Remember her insight that "we bring ourselves everywhere. There's no work persona and home persona"

Take a moment to reflect on all these ideas!

You have a Personal Network and a Personal Archive just waiting for you to build them up stronger. Look at your work, look at your life, and look at your legacy - and then, start small in each category. Today it's one person and one reflection. Tomorrow? Who knows what connections you'll create.

Last thing: Don't forget to click reply/click here and tell me who you're adding to your network and why! Plus, if you already have your own Personal Archive too, let me know, I'm creating a database.