Ice Cream, Skinheads, And A Fugazi Story

Fugazi were playing a free show at a public park in D.C. right after charting on Billboard with In on the Killtaker. 

It was 1993. They weren’t Nirvana big. But they weren’t nobody’s either. 

Singer and guitarist Ian MacKaye warned the crowd, as was a staple introduction before any of their shows started, 

Have a nice time… And tell all the fellas in the front who might get into some crazy violent thing–don’t, OK? Alright? This is not Lollapalooza.

They were already well known for not tolerating moshing. They did shows everybody could enjoy. Violent crowds weren’t for everyone, so they didn’t allow it. It was a standard announcement for them. It was also a summer public stage show they’d been performing at for years. 

Everybody should know. By now. But, new album, new media attention, and new “fans.”

So they’re going through the songs, the crowd is loving it, and a couple of guys up front are causing trouble. MacKaye stops the band mid-song. This is a standard Fugazi thing. Be clear, be direct. Don’t pick a new fight, but put it to bed and do it quick, 

Hey, don’t f****** kick people and don’t punch people. I’m talking to you right there, all right? I’m talking to you and you. You want do that f****** s****, get the f*** up on the football field, all right? I’m talking to you…It sucks to have to tell people to behave themselves but there are other people here too, all right? So try to be a little more kind.

The crowd cheers. The guys are stunned. This is the early 90s remember - everybody moshes to everything, right?

And then Guy Picciotto, from the back of the stage, perks up. 

Bald guys? 

And MacKaye said,

Yeah.

Turns out, Picciotto had seen the two bald guys earlier. At the ice cream truck that was always at this particular outdoor festival. And they picked the wrong day to be skinheads (not the Nazi kind, but still visually recognizable in their boneheadedness) at an outdoor, free Fugazi show. 

What follows is a lesson in normalizing problem-makers. Take note. And enjoy punk rock Don Rickles, aka Guy Picciotto, absolutely lighting these two up in one of my favorite insults ever:

You know, I saw you two guys earlier at the Good Humor truck and you were eating your ice cream like little boys and I thought: “Those guys aren’t so tough; they’re eating ice cream. What a bunch of swell guys! I saw you eating cream, pal. Oh don’t you deny it, you were eating an ice cream cone. You were eating an ice cream cone. Oh, you’re bad now, but you were eating an ice cream cone, and I saw you. That’s the s*** you can’t hide, you know? You got your f****** s*** but you eat ice cream. Everybody knows it, the w hole f******* place knows it. Ice cream-eating m***********; that’s what you are.

Build the scene you want to build with the people you want to build in it. 

Call the bad (or bald) apples out. 

And have fun. Above all. Have fun.

(“Ice cream eating m************s” is POETRY.)