Victims Repress, Warriors Refrain

I’ve always been really good about being really hard on myself. I can withstand all sorts of drama and hard work in the outside world, and yet I can throw a knockout punch at myself like no one else.

One quote that helps keep me out of that negative self (trash) talking cycle comes from The Four Agreements (h/t to Susan G for the recommendation). It’s this simple mantra:

Victims repress, warriors refrain.

The victim mindset sees things happen to them. Sometimes they accept it, bottle it up, and take it. Other times they react, explode, or lash out. They’re passive in their approach to the world in the way they lack the self-control to handle the stimulus.

The warrior sees the same things happen, but knows there’s an action to be taken. Maybe it’s a chess move. Maybe it’s an artful dodge. The point is, the warrior knows how to refrain, restrain, and respond with tact.

There are no dead ends for the warrior, just a new challenge or a new obstacle to overcome.

If I’m not being unnecessarily hard on myself, I’m being necessarily ambitious about what I’m going to do next. It’s a much better place to be. If you’ve never read it, The Four Agreements are a great inspiration and reminder.

What’s your trick for doing the same thing? Send me an email and let me know.

h/t to Susan G for this book recommendation!