Chat S*** Get Banged: Celebrating Jamie Vardy's Impossible 13-Year Circle

In 2011/2012, he was working in a factory and playing in the American sport equivalent of a rec league. He was scoring and arguably “good” - but the real shot seemed over. Life is cruel. A 25 year old who is yet to touch the pro’s is as good as retired. He was already, for sports and by sport standards, aging out.

What’s left but to have fun? And, of course, to drink three Red Bulls before a match, and two, you know, just to get you started of course, on your days off? That’s it. At 25, Vardy was ready for fun and Red Bulls and factory work, with a little sports mixed in where he could make it work. Bitter acceptance without fully accepting it because you just can’t quit yet.

And that refusal to accept it - that’s how on May 18th, 2012, Leicester City ended up signing 25 year old Jamie Vardy for a (then) record setting £1 million contract, from Fleetwood Town (you’re supposed to have never heard of them, don’t worry, and hey Fleetwood - no disrespect, this is a wonderful footnote to be tied to).

13 years later, on May 18th, 2025, Vardy played his last game, at their home stadium.

He scored, but of course.

It was his 200th Leicester goal.

It was his 500th team appearance.

Makes me remember. How, before the 2015/2016 Premier League season, the year Leicester City would go on to win the entire league, the odds of their victory were quoted at 5000-1.

Somehow, it seems like the odds against Jamie Vardy, of winding this tour of duty up 13 years later, to the day, of him scoring his 200th goal, and, of him finishing his 500th appearance in the blue jersey, must have been infinitely greater.

I don’t want the math. I don’t want the statistical explanations. I don’t want any of that.

I just want to remember why sports are magic.

And, even with this crazy character who has been a part of my weekends for the better part of the past 13 years, who has inspired countless “chat s*** get banged” messages between my friends and I, who has just been there doing what he does, successfully and unsuccessfully, it’s all a wonderful reminder.

Sometimes the universe delivers Maybe they’re just round numbers, maybe. Whatever. They’re magic, and it’s been incredible to watch this journey.

Vardy was relentless. As a player, as a goal scorer, as a sheer personality. I want to hold onto a fraction of that tenacity in my approach to life, in my approach to living, in my approach to knowing I’m acting fully alive, every day.

I can’t/won’t drink a Red Bull (let alone THREE) in his honor. I will say, Jamie Vardy, you will be missed. Keep defying the odds my little weaselly friend.

Remember when he blew the ref’s whistle to stop play?

And, forever, THIS:

I am going to miss him, probably too much. The Coolio - well played YouTube account I’ve never seen before. Great montage.