For years, I've been connecting with interesting people and documenting insights that might help my clients and myself. What was once private is now (mostly) public.

People often ask: "How do you know all these people?" and "How do you connect these (re: random) ideas?" The answer is simple: consistent relationship cultivation and thoughtful note taking. My north star is trusting my instincts, my maps are the constellations in these reflections.

This approach to multidisciplinary networking has helped dozens of clients, colleagues, and friends strengthen their networks and unlock new opportunities. Find my Personal Archive on CultishCreative.com, watch me build a better Personal Network on the Cultish Creative YouTube channel, and listen to Just Press Record on Spotify or Apple Podcasts, and follow me on social media (LinkedIn and X) - now distributed by Epsilon Theory.

You can also check out my work as Managing Director at Sunpointe, as a host on top investment YouTube channel Excess Returns, and as Senior Editor at Perscient.

Feel free to steal these ideas directly - that's what they're for! I can't promise you'll learn FROM me, but I guarantee you can learn something WITH me. Let's go. Count it off: 1-2-3-4!

Introducing... Anna Goldfarb!

Do you know Anna Goldfarb? She's a journalist, speaker, and author of "Modern Friendship: How to Nurture Our Most Valued Connections" who has spent over a decade reporting on the psychology and mechanics of friendship.

If not, allow me to introduce you. She's transformed her expertise from writing hundreds of articles about relationships into a comprehensive understanding of why friendships thrive or fade in modern life. I wanted to connect with her because she embodies something I value deeply: the ability to turn personal curiosity into systematic knowledge that helps others navigate uncertainty.

Our conversation is LIVE now on the Just Press Record YouTube channel (and this Cultish Creative Playlist). Listen and you'll hear how she reframes friendship through water metaphors, why modern friendship is like shopping while hungry, and her powerful story about missed connections and legacy.

THREE: That's The Magic Number of Lessons

In the meantime, I wanted to pull THREE KEY LESSONS from my time with Anna to share with you (and drop into my Personal Archive).

Read on and you'll find a quote with a lesson and a reflection you can Take to work with you, Bring home with you, and Leave behind with your legacy.

WORK: Remove Uncertainty to Build Trust

Key Concept: In professional relationships, as in friendships, uncertainty breeds anxiety and hesitation. When you explicitly communicate your appreciation for colleagues and collaborators, you create psychological safety that allows for deeper investment and better outcomes. People perform better when they know where they stand and feel valued for specific contributions.

Personal Archive Note-To-Self: There’s this weird thing that happens when you’re working with clients on investment or markets related stuff (re: managing investment portfolios, etc.), where when everything is going up, nobody wants to talk to you. It’s almost surreal. Nobody is telling you you’re smart, or how smart they are, and it’s quiet. Almost too quiet (yeah, like a horror movie).

Stuff stops working. For whatever reason. Either a little, or a lot. And then there’s this gap - where uncertainty has officially crept in and suddenly everybody knows everybody else knows it too. People don’t start calling yet at this point, but you learn with experience that when uncertainty becomes a buzzword, you have to start reaching out to talk people through it.

The hardest part to learn is - you aren’t reaching out with an answer (most of the time). You’re actually reaching out to confirm the uncertainty. To agree on it. The double uncertainty becomes a strange kind of clarity. When we both acknowledge we don't know what's coming next, we can focus on what we do know for certain: our commitment to our relationship, built on top of the values and beliefs that brought us together in the first place.

Almost always, that remaining and certain variable includes a commitment to the long-game of your professional relationship. It includes saying you’ll stick together no matter how bad things get. But it also includes saying you agree on what works over the long-term, beyond this predictably unpredictable moment of pain you’re in right now. My entire professional life has been based on learning this truth. Anna just put it in a whole new light.

Work question for you: Who on your team needs to hear specifically why you value working with them, and what's stopping you from telling them today?

LIFE: Friendships Need an "About" Beyond Affection

Key Concept: Sustainable relationships require more than just mutual affection - they need shared activities, interests, or goals that give people reasons to consistently engage. The strongest connections are built around compelling "abouts" that evolve as people grow, whether that's running together, discussing books, or working toward common objectives.

Personal Archive Note-To-Self: Understanding what each friendship is fundamentally “about” isn't limiting the people you know - it's liberating both them and us from unclear expectations.

In the client example above, the about is all about a professional service. “I do this for you in exchange for that, because over the long-haul, we agree this is good.” When it comes to friends, the “in exchange for” gets murkier, but - to Anna’s point, why? We aren’t selling friendship like a service. We are providing our side of a relationship.

It got me thinking about how I’ve got music friends, and finance friends, and local friends, and friends I send podcasts to, and friends I invite on podcasts, and - all sorts of sub-categories. I think a massive advantage, sometimes, is having this categorical thing in my brain. I know what different friends bring to the table for me, and from me.

Once I know how somebody fits in, it’s easy for them to keep showing up that way. Not because I’m limiting or forcing them to, but because I’ve found a natural way for us to get along. We have a shared, compelling, and conversation completing/repeating purpose - we’ve got our long-game nailed down.

Once and a while, somebody crosses a boundary too and I get the extra bonus of finding out they check two (or more) boxes at once. “You work in finance, and like weird music, and play fantasy soccer?!” That’s not a categorical problem, that’s a friendship grand slam for me.

Life Question For You: What is your closest friendship really "about" beyond just liking each other, and how has that "about" evolved over time?

LEGACY: We Talk Ourselves Out of Connection Too Much

Key Concept: The gap between intention and action in relationships often comes from overthinking rather than practical barriers. We create elaborate stories about why someone might not want to hear from us, when the simple act of reaching out with genuine care usually creates positive outcomes. Our friendships become our legacy, and lost opportunities for connection can't be recovered.

Personal Archive Note-To-Self: The pandemic cold reach -outs, with no rhyme or reason beyond, “hey, we’re all just at home” were a gift. They maybe saved my life. At a minimum they were an accelerant on me starting to turn things around, and then picking up more and more speed to today.

My buddy Gary and I would trade the occasional online comment, but hadn’t really talked in forever. We were high school friends. Played in bands together. Watched tons of movies together, hated stuff and loved stuff together, disagreed on what we hated and loved together, had a million inside jokes, and then, young adult life happened and we grew apart. The 30 year old cliff did it’s job. Maybe too well.

And mostly, I know it was because of me. Mostly because of the categorical thing. My job, and really, my trying to make a career out of finance even though I was convinced I didn’t belong, meant I didn’t want anyone around me to say, “Why are you doing this? This isn’t you.” I could handle somebody who barely knew me telling me I wasn’t doing something right. I couldn’t handle somebody who knew me genuinely and earnestly asking me, “Dude, you ok?”

But the pandemic provided an opening, and even though I didn’t know what on earth we’d have to talk about anymore, we got on the phone anyway.

What did we talk about? The same stuff we talked about when we were 15. Yes, with late 30-something updates, but music, and movies, and dork stuff, on top of all the emotional hardships we found out we were both going through at the same time. Gary was still a brother to me. He showed back up when I needed that most.

So when Anna tells this story, I feel it. Deeply. I had all these elaborate stories for why I didn’t need to reconnect, and why Gary didn’t need or want to hear from. The simple truth, and I’ve found this again and again, is that with your best friends, you’ll always pick up right where you left off. Categories are fine too, but let them be bridges and not barriers. Gary was my buddy because he checked all those boxes. I want - I need - more of that in my life.

Legacy question for you: Who have you been meaning to reach out to but haven't because of uncertainty, and what would you want them to know if you could only send one message?

BEFORE YOU GO: Be sure to…

• Connect with Anna Goldfarb at annagoldfarb.com for a free book excerpt and follow her on LinkedIn

• Subscribe to her Substack "Friendship Explained"

• Check out "Modern Friendship: How to Nurture Our Most Valued Connections"

• Take a moment to reflect on the "about" of your most important relationships!

You have a Personal Network and a Personal Archive just waiting for you to build them up stronger. Look at your work, look at your life, and look at your legacy - and then, start small in each category. Today it's one person and one reflection. Tomorrow? Who knows what connections you'll create.

Last thing: Don't forget to click reply/click here and tell me who you're adding to your network and why! Plus, if you already have your own Personal Archive too, let me know, I'm creating a database.