For years, I've been connecting with interesting people and documenting insights that might help my clients and myself. What was once private is now (mostly) public.

People often ask: "How do you know all these people?" and "How do you connect these (re: random) ideas?" The answer is simple: consistent relationship cultivation and thoughtful note taking. My north star is trusting my instincts, my maps are the constellations in these reflections.

This approach to multidisciplinary networking has helped dozens of clients, colleagues, and friends strengthen their networks and unlock new opportunities. Find my Personal Archive on CultishCreative.com, watch me build a better Personal Network on the Cultish Creative YouTube channel, and listen to Just Press Record on Spotify or Apple Podcasts, and follow me on social media (LinkedIn and X) - now distributed by Epsilon Theory.

You can also check out my work as Managing Director at Sunpointe, as a host on top investment YouTube channel Excess Returns, and as Senior Editor at Perscient.

Feel free to steal these ideas directly - that's what they're for! I can't promise you'll learn FROM me, but I guarantee you can learn something WITH me. Let's go. Count it off: 1-2-3-4!

Introducing... Bree Groff!

Do you know Bree Groff? She's a culture consultant with over a decade of experience interviewing hundreds of people about their work lives, and the author of "Today Was Fun" - a book about finding joy at work that I absolutely loved, especially the audio version.

If not, allow me to introduce you. Bree has a master's in learning and organizational change and has spent her career helping companies create better employee experiences. But her book came from a deeply personal place - caring for her terminally ill mother while watching friends wish away their weekdays. I wanted to connect with her because she embodies something I value deeply: the courage to challenge the assumption that work must be a necessary evil rather than a source of human flourishing.

Our conversation is LIVE now on the Just Press Record YouTube channel (and this Cultish Creative Playlist). Listen and you'll hear about the existential case for employee engagement, why pleasure belongs in professional conversations, and how feedback is really just a mirror.

THREE: That's The Magic Number of Lessons

In the meantime, I wanted to pull THREE KEY LESSONS from my time with Bree Groff to share with you (and drop into my Personal Archive).

Read on and you'll find a quote with a lesson and a reflection you can Take to work with you, Bring home with you, and Leave behind with your legacy.

WORK: The Existential Case for Not Wishing Away Weekdays

Key Concept: Bree's philosophy challenges the cultural norm of treating work as something to endure until the weekend. Having experienced the finite nature of life through her mother's terminal diagnosis, she argues we can't afford to waste five-sevenths of our week as mere input to a paycheck. Work should be designed to bring joy, connection, and meaning - not because it's nice to have, but because our days are numbered and precious.

Personal Archive Note-To-Self: I had two distinctly different bosses when I worked at a bank, roughly forever ago (OK, circa 2007). One was pretty laid back, wanted the best out of me in terms of the branch's corporate goals, and made it clear what was flexible versus strict. The other - let's call him weasel-mannish, and you can infer what you like - was constantly standing in the lobby, checking his watch while walking over to ask people for midday updates on glorified TPS reports.

Now, I might be picking the most obscure part of Bree's quote to dwell on, but the question of who decides what's wasted time versus what's invested time has always bothered me. Those two bank managers taught me there are very different philosophies for accounting for time. And knowing this is a BIG deal for where the joy element shows up at work.

The crappy boss looked at being social with customers or colleagues through a waste lens. Every minute I spent doing anything not directly selling was wasted time. He was very into shame as a motivator. The good boss saw the bigger picture - he understood that me building relationships with tellers and colleagues would generate more referrals and better results long-term.

Here's what I learned: When we're aligned on how we're valuing time, we have room to talk about making that time meaningful. Joy really is in there. But you can't have conversations about designing joyful, human work experiences with people who fundamentally see relationship-building and presence as waste.

You have to know what game you're playing before you can play it well. And if your boss thinks the game is pure efficiency, while you think it's about human connection that drives results, you're going to be miserable until one of you leaves or changes. Spoiler: I left. I had the weasel-man second.

Work question for you: How often do you catch yourself wishing away weekdays, and what would need to change for work to feel like "one joyful part of a big, beautiful life"?

LIFE: Peak Life Moments and the Courage to Say What You Want

Key Concept: Bree describes "peak life" as those moments when you're completely aligned with your values and fully present. It's not about manufactured happiness but about the clarity that comes from knowing exactly where you belong. This level of presence and value alignment becomes possible when we're honest about what we want - even though naming our desires makes us vulnerable to disappointment.

Personal Archive Note-To-Self: Peak life feels like peak life when all the values are aligned, because you’ve invested the time instead of wasted it to the point of flourishing, and everything is just humming. It might sound like it’s hard, but it’s not an impossible state to achieve, nor does it require the level of stakes Bree describes (although with stakes like that, you can gain a next level awareness about this stuff, as she so clearly did).

With my financial planner hat on for a second, I’ve always felt like you could waste time, expense time, or invest time. Wasted time has no residual value. It’s a pure cost. Expensed time has a maintenance value. It’s the little stuff that keeps a relationship on track and moving, but doesn’t grow it. Investing time is like investing money. You do it with and for growth.

Peak life shows up when we’ve been co-investing and co-expensing time together for a while. When Bree and her mom are having smoothies, it might almost look like wasted time at face value. I don’t even think I’d call it an investment either. But, an expense or maintenance cost? Absolutely. Them not doing anything else, except for being present with each other in that moment, it’s a key marker of their mutual awareness of the relationship capital in my book.

Now, if one of them was distracted by work, then one of them might have been wasting time (I’m thinking of Bree’s bedtime story lesson here too). But since they’re both focused on each other and the moment, it feels “peak” because they’re enjoying all the co-investments they’ve made up to this point.

Life Question For You: When was the last time you felt completely certain you were exactly where you needed to be, and what does that tell you about your deepest values?

LEGACY: Difference vs. Defect and the Art of Lowering the Bar

Key Concept: Bree's distinction between "difference" and "defect" is profound for how we treat ourselves and others. Much of what we label as problems are simply different ways of being human. Her "most days theory" suggests that doing most things most days is enough - we can hold ourselves to a lower bar and still create meaningful impact. This isn't about lowering standards but about recognizing the difference between excellence and perfectionism.

Personal Archive Note-To-Self: When I go back to my old bank days, I talk mostly about the roles and responsibilities, but I think mostly about the people. The job was never going to be right for me. I genuinely did not fit in there. It hurt my soul. That was a defect.

The people however, they presumably didn’t feel like I did. And I don’t judge them negatively for it. They were different in what they wanted and expected from the work.

I remember a woman I worked with, who could see I was struggling with the weasel-manager. She pulled me aside one day and looked down at me (to clarify - she was some type of Amazon + Jamaican combo, a total character I loved working with), and said, “Matthew, I know he’s a miserable little man. We all do. But, you haven’t been here very long, so listen.”

I listened. Looking up, of course. “These manager people come and go. We (gesturing to the tellers behind the counter, and the rest of us at desks around the lobby) don’t. They’ll transfer him on for good performance or let him go for bad performance in - I’d give it, 6 months. Don’t sweat him. Just outlast him.”

I was focused on the real problem I had with him and the job and the TPS reports I had due in a matter of hours. And, to be fair, this was my first “real job.” I was a newbie ladder climber trying to make short-term sense without any long-term focus. She had an entirely different, much longer term perspective than I could have imagined in that moment. That’s when I learned it’s a choice - what we sweat, and what we outlast or choose to get away from.

What Bree helped me see is that I was treating my colleague's patient approach as wrong when it was just different from my urgency. The real defect was my inability to recognize a valid alternative strategy. I can see it now and feel it on a new level.

Legacy question for you: What "differences" in yourself or others are you treating as defects that need fixing, and how might acceptance change those relationships?

BEFORE YOU GO: Be sure to…

• Connect with Bree Groff on LinkedIn

• Check out her book "Today Was Fun" (especially the audio version!)

• Subscribe to her Substack for weekly insights on work and life

• Take a moment to reflect on all these ideas!

You have a Personal Network and a Personal Archive just waiting for you to build them up stronger. Look at your work, look at your life, and look at your legacy - and then, start small in each category. Today it's one person and one reflection. Tomorrow? Who knows what connections you'll create.

Last thing: Don't forget to click reply/click here and tell me who you're adding to your network and why! Plus, if you already have your own Personal Archive too, let me know, I'm creating a database.