Playing With Networking (Weekly Recap 4/19/2025)

(I’m having a linking issue for the email, I’ll get the web version fixed as soon as I can, but in the mean time, you can manually scroll these HERE if any catch your eye!)

Stories That Shape Our Lives: Sean DeLaney Returns To JUST PRESS RECORD

The other day I started to freak out about all of the stories in my head. I was looking at my bookshelf, thinking about all the little stories in one book alone (a fresh copy of "The Canterbury Tales" that I just picked up), and how it multiplied across the entire shelf. The books didn't have to all come falling over on me for me to feel like the books had just come falling over on me. And those are just the external stories! They're kind of in my head, but they're stored externally. The books can have and keep their own issues. My head is full of stories of its own. Childhood stuff. Adult stuff. Weird stories stacked on stories (how many stories do I have about watching Val Kilmer (RIP) movies for example - not just the plots of the movies, but where I was, who I was with, why I can remember smells from these experiences, etc.).

Quote from the (Personal) Archive: Sean DeLaney really got in my head when he said this on his latest Just Press Record appearance, "I've seen that everyone just has a handful of stories that essentially dictate how they live their entire life... A handful of stories dictate their entire life."

Rules Of Thumb Vs. Rules Of Big Toe

I've started separating shortcut-style advice between "stuff others have told me" and "stuff I figured out myself" (and, by figured out myself, I mostly mean I figured it out the hard way). In the "stuff others have told me" category, live my Rules of Thumb. When somebody else gives me their rule of thumb, I want to mentally label it as their wisdom. I respect it, because I know that they've told me it's useful, on average, in their prior experience. However, I'm just an inheritor of their gift (and sometimes, let's be honest, it's more of a curse than a gift).

Quote from the (Personal) Archive: "But there is nothing like personal pain as a teacher. Next time somebody gives you some smart sounding advice, labeling it as a Rule of Thumb, be sure to check if it matches one of your own Rules of Big Toe. If not, brace yourself if you embrace putting their rule into practice, because you might have to get hurt before you figure out if it works."

Costly Signaling (A Strategy That Doesn't Cost You Anything But Time)

Take 2 seconds and get this idea in your brain, front and center. Because if you've never encountered costly signaling theory before, here's a quick definition I found online - “Individuals signal their underlying qualities (like resources or traits) through behaviors or displays that are difficult and costly to fake, ensuring the reliability of the signal.” Now that I've only partly spoiled it, you're ready for this. Look what Harry Dry posed this brilliant observation in his newsletter...

Quote from the (Personal) Archive: "People love you spending YOUR TIME to do something so they don't have to spend THEIR (SAME AMOUNT OF) TIME to reach the conclusion you did. Signal the time you've sunk and why somebody else doesn't have to sink theirs wherever and whenever you can. It's subtle, and we humans are hardwired to respond to it."

Grow Your Network: Daryl Fairweather Is An Intentional Investor

Do you know Daryl Fairweather? Chief Economist at Redfin, MIT and University of Chicago graduate, behavioral economics expert, and author of "Hate the Game: Economic Cheat Codes for Life, Love and Work"? If not, allow me to introduce you. Daryl has been analyzing the housing market and economic behavior patterns for years, bringing a unique perspective that combines rigorous data analysis with real-world insights. I wanted to connect with her because she embodies something I value deeply - being thoughtful about systems and finding ways to navigate them that benefit everyone (EVERYONE. Just like Beyonce's fanbase. Yeah, I said it).

Quote from the (Personal) Archive: Daryl’s college to career to parenting path is insane. So are quotes like this, "How good your outside options are is largely what determines how good your inside options are. I was able to get a good job offer from [a major tech company] in part because I already had a job to rely on."

Grow Your Network: Sean DeLaney Is A Deep Thinker

Do you know Sean Delaney? Author, coach, poet, and deep thinker who helps others understand the stories that guide their lives? Creator of "When Life Begins to Whisper" and other works that explore the human experience with remarkable clarity? If not, allow me to introduce you. Sean has been working with clients for years, helping them cultivate awareness and transform their relationships with themselves. I wanted to connect with him because he embodies something I value deeply: the ability to recognize and transform the hidden narratives that shape our lives.

Quote from the (Personal) Archive: Sean is full of statements like this, which is why I was dying to get him back on Just Press Record - "You essentially have three phases... intention, presence, and then reflection. How intentional are you going into the event? How present can you be in the moment? How reflective can you be afterwards?"

Sunday Music: "The Forks Of Cypress" By Patterson Hood (ft. Waxahatchee)

How hard was that lesson to learn? The choice of the path you took? The left-behind choice of the path you opted against? No, not quite Robert Frost, but only because we're adding this question: how hard is it to acknowledge that you couldn't have learned it alone? Patterson Hood, looking all the way back to his time in the alt-rock/country legends the Drive-By Truckers, he hits a haunted nostalgia in my gut nearly every time he starts to sing. Waxahatchee, the indie folk project of Katie Crutchfield, I'm now realizing, does kind of the same thing. Of course this duet crushes it.

Quote from the (Personal) Archive: YO. "No one had better ask me and I would never tell / Something so forbidden, I'll carry it to hell / And burn it down there with me with lips that speak profane / Of a love that burned as hot as my secret shame" - this is Patterson Hood at his best, right?

Where Else I Showed Up This Week

Financial markets interested friends - definitely check out my Excess Returns playlist, because I’ve had some great features lately, especially this Rich Bernstein episode.

Personal Archive Prompts (for you): Who do you know this reminds you of, and/or what do you think about...

• How aware are you of the handful of stories that dictate your life? What might change if you identified them?

• Where have you learned Rules of Big Toe that contradict common Rules of Thumb?

• How could you better signal the value of your time and expertise in your work?

• What "outside options" are you cultivating to strengthen your position?

• How intentional are you before experiences, how present during them, and how reflective afterward?

• What emotional "timebombs" from your past might be fueling your creative work today?

As always, I did my part, now it's your turn to write some reflections in your own Personal Archive.

(then, be sure to let me know where you're keeping it, I'm in search of the others too)

PS: Don't forget to check out my conversations with Sean DeLaney and Daryl Fairweather on the Cultish Creative YouTube channel!