Jack Boudreau is trying to send me messages, or to find his people online, or both? From a recent blog post (this is literally his opening):

Just a low hum.

Well, Jack, message received and I see you. Because I know this feeling too, very (very) well, and I know we are not alone.

I remember this moment in college, sometime during my freshman year, when I wondered how and when people got any work done. I saw them playing video games. I saw them hanging out and partying. I saw them going to get food and even sleeping in (they were cramped dorms). But how and when were they working?

In hindsight - maybe they weren’t? Or, more likely, since you always see somebody but don’t always see everybody, I am pretty sure people were doing what they had to do and hiding out to do it.

Granted, the same realization makes me think about how half my suite-mates were sophomores who bungled their dorm application and ended up in the freshman cinderblock arts dorm. These were not valedictorians in the making.

But I’m thinking of this because of Jack’s low hum point. At the time, it felt like they had figured something out that I hadn’t figured out and it was arresting. There was nobody to ask, there was no way to know, and it was as disconcerting as it was disorienting.

It was scarier than the way it felt in high school, and I know now, that it was a precursor to what I’d be feeling for the next (oh, that’s a scary number to do the math on) 25 years.

The lesson does get learned, however. And reinforced. The one where you have to accept you only see some of the people some of the time.

If you actually want to focus on taking tips or tricks - or even advice - from literally anyone, you need to establish some context dependence. There are details you, or they, are editing out. Without them, you have an incomplete perspective on one detail.

I’m not even saying I’m good at this, but the antidote I’ve slowly self-discovered is the same thing I was very relieved to see Jack also say (he chose italics for this line):

See? He already knows. The internet is great at spreading imaginary checklists written for imaginary people. Just because you can see these things doesn’t mean you’re seeing all the things.

We pick what we measure ourselves against. So the best thing we can do is be kind with the rulers we’re holding up, and by all means, focus on admirable people doing admirable things. If I’d learned anything sooner, it’d be that one.

I do have to tell myself all that. Like, regularly. Add all the context back in until that one data point you’re obsessing over is appropriately diluted.

The low hum doesn’t shut off. Neither do the mental questions of “but what are you doing with your life” coupled with the reminders of “you know - you’re the same age as Beyonce” but - adjust for the appropriate factors. If I had the voice or the dance moves or the obsessed manager parent then, maybe, but on my own track? All I’ve got is a work ethic that admires hers.

Life goes fast for all of us. Try to enjoy the ride. At least a little. I’m glad to see Jack is figuring that out earlier than I did, and I’m thrilled I have a clue about it now.

Ps. Want more Jack stories or to know how he got here? Check out our Intentional Investor where this is one of the background themes:

Pps. me and Val at a Bikini Kill show, well on our way to staying up way past our bedtime